Crying is good for you! If you somehow feel wrong, ashamed or have other difficulties with being able to cry, this video is for you.
Watch the video, or read the text below.
Text of the video:
Personally, I cry almost every day. Why would crying be so different from laughing? Why don’t we let ourselves equally express sadness as joy?
Crying, in our society, is associated with a negative self-image. As if you’re doing something wrong, being weak, and it makes you vulnerable to judgment from others.
Maybe your parents have told you that you shouldn’t cry because they felt it was just exaggeration, or bothering them. Or maybe you learned in school to feel unsafe about crying since you could get bullied for it.
Why do you feel bad about crying?
Let’s address the most common reasons for not allowing ourselves to cry.
1. The idea that we’re exaggerating
The idea that we’re making a too big deal out of nothing has come from the outside, from others who didn’t fully understand why we were crying.
There is always a valid reason for crying, even if you are not consciously aware of that reason. There’s something unresolved inside you that’s hurting.
Maybe you’re stressed, sad, or grieving something.
Consider something small like being unable to catch a train. If that makes you want to cry, you could think that you’re exaggerating. But underneath that, there is something bigger. Maybe you have been stressed for a long time. Maybe you were going to a meeting that was very important to you.
2. Crying is scary because it makes us vulnerable
The fear can even be for imaginary others. You might be alone, feeling a need to cry, but thinking about how other would judge that.
Allow yourself step by step to cry more often in the presence of others. Get comfortable with that. The reason I’m encouraging you is because people will usually react sweetly to it.
Often is strengthens your connection with others when you can let yourself cry in their presence. They get to see more of you, a side they haven’t seen much before. It makes you bond with them more special. Probably just start with a safe-feeling friend or family member, and see how you like it!
Paradoxically, it will make you feel less vulnerable because you can be more relaxed around others as you feel safer when you can be you.
3. Judging yourself as weak
The idea that you’re weak for crying is absolutely wrong. Because allowing yourself to cry actually takes a lot of courage. We live in a society where crying is stigmatized in a very negative way. So daring to cry is the hero in you coming out!
And you're even fighting for more than just yourself, you are making a case for all humans to be allowed to be their emotional selves!
Furthermore, looking into your shadows is not necessarily easy.
So when you cry, be proud of it!
4. "If you cry, you’re a burden"
Understandably so, you might feel like a burden. Most people are not able to deal with others who are crying, it makes THEM feel uncomfortable.
It might make them feel as if they need to solve your problem for you. Probably more so because they don’t want to feel uneasy themselves.
Usually, the problem isn’t easily solved though. You’re in some muddy messiness without an easy way out. The only thing they can do for you is to be there for you by just being there with you. Holding the space for you. This is what you could ask others who don’t know how to go about you crying.
Another issue is people who feel like negativity rubs off and they don’t want to absorb your negativity. The sensitive people among us might, however, agree with me that the heaviness (that was already present and sensible in your energy field before you expressed it) actually becomes lighter the moment you express it and give it air.
This can come to the point where you someone can actually feel comfortable and light about holding the space for you while your crying.
A last note to encourage you to cry more:
It’s so beautiful to allow yourself the fullness of the whole emotional spectrum of life.
Crying has a cathartic/purging effect, and the brain chemistry of crying shows that actually it reduces stress and increases a good mood.
You can even feel happy while crying and sad because of allowing yourself to be you, flow with life, and experience the fullness of life.
I wish you beautiful cryings! 😉