How to say no to people? A student asked me this week how we can stop hurrying to answer someone’s questions and instead take our time to know whether we want to say yes or no. Knowing how to say no to others indefinitely a struggle many face in their lives (including me!) so I’m happy to talk about taking your time to say no.
This was my answer to the student:
It’s actually really simple: Just say something like:
“Uhm… let me feel into that for a moment”
“I need some time to think about that.”
“I don’t know yet, I’ll let you know when I do know.”
“Can I answer you later? I’m not sure yet.”
And then take a few deep breaths. And realize that it’s also okay if it takes you a few hours or days or even weeks before you can answer them.
But, of course, the hardest thing is to actually give yourself permission to do that. It can feel really difficult to make the other person wait. You need to really take that space for yourself and feel that you deserve that. It is not your obligation to give others an immediate answer. And you can choose to take some more time so that you will do what feels best for you.
And you may find that other people are actually quite happy that you take well care of yourself. You do deserve to take good care of yourself. And by doing so, you set a great example for others too, even if that means making them wait a bit.
Hope this helps?
In addition, I made this video.
And you can also always take my free lesson: “How to stop people-pleasing, be strong in your no, and powerfully you.”